As professionals, it is good practice to keep meetings short and sweet, so we wasted no time in moving on to the first item on our agenda - ordering a bottle of wine to quench our Thursday thirst. Admittedly, I am a cheap drunk so my eyes immediately settled on one of the house reds, an argentinian malbec at $45 a pop. At this price point, it was quite palatable - peppery and spicy. Oh that first sip of wine was a warm hug down my throat!
Next item on the agenda was the food. Here, we zoomed in on the beef and foie gras poutine (french fries topped with emmental cheese, covered with brown gravy), the smoked duck quesadilla, as well as 2 items from the specials menu - the Norwegian salmon, and the chicken terrine with double brie cheese (this sounded too good to resist).
When the food came, we were bowled over by the fantastic presentation. This is my first appreciation of how visual presentation can whet one’s appetite to eat. Apologize for the pics which do not do the dishes justice. I think the presentation might have raised our expectations a notch too high though, because the taste of the food, albeit good, did not impress. The poutine stood its own, but the smoked duck quesadilla and chicken terrine were kind of lack-lustre. Luckily, the norwegian salmon was done very nicely, I loved how it was pink on the inside, and the cream (mushroom?) sauce complimented it perfectly.
We ended the meal with item 3 of the agenda, a bottle of montepulciano d'abruzzo ($51). It was an easy drinking Italian red with mildly sweet and soft tannins, a good one to end the meal.
The Thirsty Thursday club passed the motion that in spite of misses in some food items, Hummerstons was a good place to unwind and recuperate from a hard day at work. Oh, and of course, quench our thirst.
I have to say, i did well this year. Last i went to the Big W toy sale 3 days after it started, expecting that they would still have plenty of the toys i wanted. Uh - Fail! But i was a newbie toy sale-er back then... i didnt know abot the crazy crush of mums who get there bang on midnight and spend half the night in a lay-by line. So this year, a little older and a little wiser, i prepared. I scoured the catalogues and made myself a list of what we wanted to for Flynn and for our two neices and 3 nephews; i double checked prices and Googled the items i liked to make sure they were appropriate; and i did a scout around the store a day or two beforehand so i knew where the things i wanted would be. Genius Mummy!
We ended up getting our two biggest purchases from Myer which meant that when i went to BIg W today i wouldnt have to get as much ( which meant there were less things for me to miss out on ). I didnt go at midnight with the other pyscho-mummies ( sleep is far too precious to me for that! ) but i did go at 8am, after Flynn and I had had breakfast, showered and got dressed. There was hardly anyone there - all the hardcore toy sal-ers had been and gone; and the slowpokes and newbies probably didnt realise the store was open continously from midnight. We were in, shopped, lay-byed and out in 45 mins!
And yes, before i praise myself too much and someone else points it - yes i know you can now do the shopping online. However, not all items are available online and part of me actually likes the planning and the searching and the satisfaction of finding all the stuff on my list. And now we have all the presents sorted for Christmas and all we need to get in December is a present for each other. Cant get much better than that i dont think!
How about you - did you or are you planning to hit up the toy sales this year? Are you an online shopper or a hands on kinda gal like me?
Enter Coffee Bar K, a gem of a bar in Singapore I raved about two years ago, made excessive repeat visits to back then, forgot about since, and recently revisited. Sweet was my re-visit – almost like meeting up with a dear old long-lost friend.
The bar was exactly as I remembered it. Oh, to sink into the plush black leather sofas at the bar and be handed a warm towel, asked for my drink order and pampered with platters of snacks. I took my time picking my poison – so many choices of gin/vodka/whisky/wine/liquer base cocktails, luckily they rate the alcoholic content of the cocktails and whether they were suited to the male or female palate (ok, this was admittedly sexist). The Moscow mule was my usual drink but tonight I picked a Honolulu, something light to end off my earlier buffet dinner.
Service was quietly efficient, just the way I liked it. The cute Japanese bartender has left though, in place there was another bartender that had a funny porcupine hair style and looked a tad sulky for my liking. Luckily the Filipino waitress was warm and friendly.
Prices for a cocktail was about $20 and there is a cover charge of $15 after 9pm (which includes above-mentioned snacks - wasabi chips/ ham/ fruit platter). Worth every penny. I have an old friend visiting from Shanghai soon, I must bring him to my new found oasis here. For old times’ sake.
Yea, well i had one of those on Sunday. I woke feeling not quite right, like halfway through the night the happy, satisfied part of myself had decided to slip between the sheets and not show her face in the morning. I felt frumpy, tired, ugly and irritable. I thought dressing up a little would lift my mood, so instead of my usual jeans/jumper/Converse All Stars combo i threw some tights on under a summer dress, with a cardy and boots. I really liked my outift ( way cute! ) but, even so, it did little to liven me up. Now i just felt like a fat, ugly frump wearing a pretty dress. So - no better then. I tried to put on a smiley happy face but it didnt stop the sense of "blah, blah, shitty, blah " from spreading through the inside of me. Even Micks playful teasing - which i usually give as good as i get - didnt make me smile. In fact, it only served to make me feel worse.
She's having another baby.
She's having another baby, and i'm not.
Why oh why is my sense of self-worth so still tied up with her? Why is the way i feel about myself so bound by what she does, or thinks, or says? Why can i feel so fulfilled and happy and confident in what i have and what i want, but one Facebook status is enough to bring me undone? And i cant even see the status ( i was "de-friended", remember? ) so i hear the news from Mick, and i have to bite my lip and say " Oh, really? Good on them " without also saying " I wish we were having one now too ".
Because, believe it or not, i am both happy for her and extremely jealous - even though my plans for a baby are only a few months from getting underway ( as it were... ). For some reason, the fact that she is adding to her family first makes me unbelievably sad for myself, like again i'll be sitting in her shadow and she'll be getting the things i would like to have for myself. Which, in retrospect, is probably how she felt when i was pregnant.... she had been trying to conceive for a while and there i was, falling pregnant accidentally. The difference is a) she already had everything else, and had it for a long time, while i was plodding along with the lower paid job, living with my parents while i saved for a home, spending years without a man to love me, having to scrimp and save for every little thing i wanted, when everything else came so easily to her.... and b) i can be envious that its not my time BUT i can still wish her the best. She didnt do that for me.
So, even though we havent spoken for almost a year, i sent her a message of congratulations. I got a polite, yet curt, " Thank you " in return. I dont know what i was expecting - if anything at all - but i had hoped for something more. Selfishly maybe - maybe sending her a message was inappropriate, like i was trying to get something from her that she isnt willing to give. Maybe it was me subconsciously trying to say " See? This is what you should have done for me. Why couldnt you just put your jealousy aside ? ". I dont know. I dont want to psycho-analyse myself anymore, I'm tired of picking apart and second guessing the choices i make ( made. didnt make. apparently made... ). Whats is done now but what remains is that there is a baby on the way, but its not on its way to me... and i feel like a failure.
Not just any shopping, mind you. These are the Swedish Hasbeens I have been lusting for, since, erm, forever. They are not available in Singapore so I had to get them online. The brand is so bohemian - handmade shoes, ecological materials and a never-say-die FUN attitude to match. I like this braided model which they say "will make you look like Sandy in the musical Grease before her total makeover." And I love love love (sorry for gushing here) the bright cheery yellow colour. Very appropriate, don't you think?
Yes, these are the shoes that I will wear strutting into the new era of my life. My Hasbeens are "super-highs" at 4.1 inches, but insiders (which I am now part of, yippee) say they are super duper comfy. SEK 1,731, inclusive of UPS - worth every cent!
Update on 1st July 2011 - IT'S HERE AND IT'S PERFECT!
Everyone, meet the new love of my life. Fits true to size. Luxuriously soft and comfy.
"The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun." ~ Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
Happy 18 month-aversary honeybee! I cant believe that you are 18 months old already, which means its only 6 months til you are 2 - and then you really will be classed as a "toddler " and not a baby anymore. Not that it matters - you've been telling me for months you're a " boy " and only refer to yourself as a baby when we have special hug-gles together, and even then the " baby " part is accompanied by a cheeky grin.
Actually, most things are accompanied by a cheeky grin. You've grown into such a happy, smiley, giggling ratbag of a boy. You're a cheeky little monkey, a real " boys boy " - you love nothing more than mucking in with Daddy or Poppy in the garage or backyard. You're apparently quite the hands-on little person too ... Poppy was very impressed when you watched him for only a few minutes and then you were able to put a pop rivet in the pop rivet gun all by yourself ( a Bob the Builder in the making maybe... )
All this " boy " stuff doesnt mean you dont also love spending time with me. I love the time we get to spend together readig books, or doing puzzles, and i think its incredibly funny that every morning you want to hide in the wardrobe with my shoes while i get dressed! You still get very much attached to me when you are sick or tired, and although i sometimes wish i could have my lap back, i secretly dont mind...
In the past 6 months from my last letter you have:
* developed an amazing vocabulary. I dont mean to boast, but you speak very well for your age;
* had battles with Mummy and Daddy over your food - you still manage to eat A LOT, but you fell out of love with your vegies for a while there. Currently you smash down roast vegies, and will happily munch on raw capsicum, carrot and sometimes beans;
*had your first kiss from a girl - ooh la la! Olivia came over for a playdate and gave you a smoochy when she was leaving. You might have pulled a weird face, but I'm now planning on your wedding...
* learned to climb up the play equipment at two of our favourite playgrounds all by yourself. I still need to stand by and make sure you dont fall, but you can pull yourself up the steps. You've also found the courage to go down the slippery dip - but your favourite is still the swings.
* discovered a love of chocolate ( thank you Easter Bunny! ) that i think may actually be genetic... at least once a day you say " Mummy? Coc-o-lit ? "
.... and so many other things. You've also been unfortunate enough to have croup 3 times, and a stint with a week long virus which changed you from a tiny tear-about to a tired, fluffy little baby-lump inside a few hours. But, most of the time, you are loud, crazy, boy-energy personified. And i wouldnt have you any other way.
Love ya guts ( and your stinky little feet ),
Creperie de Arts was a small and intimate joint clad in warm lighting, not unlike eating in a friend’s home kitchen. We had indoor seats but I imagine it would be nice nursing a bottle of wine with a special date at one of the tables outside. Yes, they do a rather palatable bottle of house Côtes du Rhône red wine at a good price.
I had read the hungrygowhere reviews about the Saint Caradec (scallops and leek) crepe and the Auguebelette (potatoes, bacon, onions, melted reblochon) crepe. They all sound delish. But I had my eye on the Complete Forrestiere. Ham, cheese, mushroom and egg – there’s no way you can go wrong with a combination like that. Plus, I am a sucker for anything with a sunny side up on it. The disappointing part was that they overcooked the yolk - sigh, I was looking forward to runny goodness. Fortunately, everything else was tasty and fresh, I loved the texture of the buckwheat crepes. It wasn’t too salty and went very well with the wine. My friends who ordered the salmon crepe said it was good too.
You’ll need to try the traditional apple cider too. Nice aperitif to whet the appetite. Will I be back? Likely, the raclette looks good.
Why run a marathon? I took the day today to consider my motivations carefully. The reason I finally arrived at was: I want to do it because it’s hard.
In the early 1960s President Kennedy set a national goal of landing a man on the Moon. He said that we choose to do this not because it is easy but because it is hard. One of Edmond Hillary's comments about finally scaling Everest was: "It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. We all need challenges and the sense of euphoria that comes from achieving a difficult personal goal.
Well, I for one don’t expect myself to ever stand on the Moon or the summit of Everest. But a marathon – now that’s something I can do. It’s not going to be easy but it’s ACHIEVABLE. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, complete the distance, no need to come in first or anything. I just need to prove to myself that I CAN DO IT.
The secondary reason of course is that training for the half-marathon will give me the focus I need, and hopefully distract me from unhappy thoughts. Send me a minor victory to cheer me up please!
So 4th December will see me taking on 21.1km. I hear the views on the route are going to be great. There’re early bird offers and discounts for SCB card/ Passion card holders so go check out http://www.marathonsingapore.com/ if you are keen!
Wow - you know, though i've always kind of relied on my intution ( though for a while there "intuition " was very heavily influenced by " negative thought process " ) i've never actually thought about what she might look personified. Oh yea, my intution is definately a "she " - that much i'm sure of. A strong, sultry "she ", one who knows her own mind ( is that my own mind? ). I'm thinking long auburn hair, green eyes, taller than me and curvy. A strong, fiery redhead. I mean, she'd have to be to get me to listen to her, wouldnt she? I'm not going to take my cues from any old mousey, wet-blanket, woman. You know what? Think Famke Janssen in the " X-Men " movies and thats pretty close to what i'm picturing here....
What she would tell me is that my feelings of needing to change jobs are right. I keep thinking it back over, and putting myself in my co-workers shoes, but my intuition would tell me that for my family to be put first, i have to leave when i get the chance.
She'd tell me to make contact, even though it probably wont be returned the way i hope. Just put myself out there and do it, and prove that i can be what she wasnt.
And lastly she'd tell me that i'm a good mum. She tells me that all the time as it is, even when the self-doubt creeps in.
What would your intuition look like? Be like? Tell you?
What would your Polly wear to her 9 -5 ?
So please overlook my previous lack of utilising social media, and allow me this one chance at blog-whoring:
*NOTE* - My blog-whoring does not reach as far as " following " for "followings " sake. Unless you want to ( follow me please! )... though be pre-warned i'll only follow back if your fabulous!
So there I was, blind tasting various (blends of) tinto fino (the local name for tempranillo) and stuffing my face with jamon. Whilst the offerings from Pago de los Capellanes, Domino de Atauta and Protos were all fairly decent, it turns out my favorite was the Crianza 2008 from Pago de los Capellanes – what can I say, I’m a cheap drunk!
Dinner with wines was priced at $90+, good value, considering the jamon-ful dinner and “freebies” of rose wine. Foodwise other than the jamon, the paella was flavorful although a tad dry for my liking. I remember from the last time we celebrated Bev’s birthday here that the meatballs, grilled squid and mushroom tapas were a hit, so be sure to sample those if you happen to visit MLSP.
1) I want to get married
2) I want to build a house and
3) I want to have another baby.
And i want all these things to happen tomorrow, or at least thats how i've been feeling the last few weeks or so.
I guess what i'm saying is - who wants to give me $250 000? No, no, thats not it ( athough, if you have deep pockets... ). What i really mean is even though i have this crazy urge to have it all, and have it NOW, i also know that the more i focus on the future, the less i'm concentrating on the now. I'm living with my head in the proverbial clouds, which means i'm missing so much of whats happening down here in the real world. The real, tangible, its-happening-right-now... well... now. So - its not just me is it? Tell me i'm not the only one who is itching to get things done, and to do it all without resorting to massive credit card debt or an astronomical mortage?
Located at Shaw Leisure Gallery, Tom’s Palette is a non descript shop space hiding a delightful Willy Wonka’s factory within. I knew they had been around for a while (since 2005) and won many accolades, but it was my first time there.
There were 8 of us in the ice cream making class. The class started with the instructor giving us a demonstration on making green tea ice cream, followed by our own hands-on effort to make chocolate ice cream. I was quite surprised by how easy it was – mix up the egg yolk, milk, cream and sugar to create the custard, infuse the custard with the flavoring you want, chuck it in the freezer for a bit, churn it by hand and return it to freezer for a bit more and voila – your very own traditional homemade ice cream!
While waiting for our custards to freeze, we were treated to an ice cream buffet. It was surreal – so many flavours to try, so limited stomach space! There were some incredible flavors at Tom’s – I especially loved the chocolate stout, salted egg yolk and onion, popping candy (melt ‘n’ sizzle) and salty yuzu flavors. I was stuffed but I couldn’t resist asking for one last scoop of Granny’s Favourite, packed with cookie dough goodness. Perfect hangover food haha.
TADA! The picture on the left shows our finished product. Very yummy chocolate ice cream. We were immensely proud of ourselves :)
The private class lasted from 11am till 1.30pm, when they opened the doors to the public. Wow, I never knew that there are so many people craving ice cream so early in the afternoon. Brisk business indeed.
I highly recommend the ice cream making class at Tom’s Palette!
I'm turned off a little - the prompts are becoming so repeatitive. You know... same same, but different?
Wholly New and Strange ). The other five have all been variations on the same theme, each question essentially the same just worded differently. What are you afraid of? What do you want to achieve in your life but havent tried? What is holding back from achieving your dreams? What do you dream of - write it down! Do it! All pretty much the same thing, and the same as one of the first few prompts we were given. Its like whoever was responsible for compiling all the prompts didnt actually check to make sure they were doubling up on topics. Or tripling, or quadrupling...
I was very much inspired in the beginning, but i wont write about the same thing day in and day out for a month just so i can say i completed a blog post challenge. The idea was to help my blog move away from constant " fluffy " posts and more towards meaningful writing - if i write the same post over and over that kind of defeats the purpose, doesnt it? So i'll keep checking back at the Ralph Waldo Emerson page to see if they've come up with anything new, but if not, i'm resuming normal transmission around here....I hope none of you think less of me for giving up? I mean, there is no use flogging a dead horse right?
Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.
When i found out i was pregnant, even though it was only 3 months into my relationship with Mick ( yes, you read that right, 3 months when i found out, so i would have fallen pregnant 6 weeks into the relationship ), it was like everything i had ever dreamt of was falling into place. Not all that fanciful travelling the world, winning Lotto, marrying a bazillionaire kind of stuff - the romantic notion of what my everyday life would be like. I had the man who loved me, i was going to be a mother, i had a good job and a supportive family. Puzzle pieces were finally appearing to fit together.
And then one that i thought was so firmly in place fell out - the " best friend " piece. When i told her i was pregnant she stopped talking to me for a while. She thought it was far too early in the relationship ( even though the pregnancy wasnt planned ), that i shouldnt be having a baby at all and (admitted after the fact ) that she was jealous that I was pregnant and she wasnt. Even though at the time i was so desperately upset and confused, in retrospect i think those collective moments were the ones that really set me on my own path. Til then i had lived so much in her shadow - always the funny friend who never had a steady boyfriend, who didnt go to uni, who didnt have as good a job or as much money. Always living so much of my life vicariously through her because she seemed to have most of her puzzle pieces already in place. I was happy to just to sit on the sidelines and be her cheerleader. But, after those moments, after the hurtful silence and then the angry, bitter words.... after that, i realised how much i needed to step up, and step out, and become my own woman in order to be the best (future)wife and mother and human being i could be.
And, as most of my regular readers would know, we dont talk anymore. We havent spoken a word in at least 8 months now. I have missed her a lot, in small quiet moments, or in times of celebration, but i've tried to keep my chin up and walk my path with other, better, people at my side. The rest of my puzzle pieces are still in place and who knows? Maybe i'll never find a perfect fit for that " best friend " piece - maybe i'll try a whole bunch of other pieces and they'll each suffice for a time but none of them will ever fit the way she did. But what i do know is i'm stronger now for having lost her, and i'll keep pushing forward on my path, puzzle complete or not....
Yes, it’s PINK as in gay, lesbian, transsexual/ transgender/ bisexual/ intersexual/ queer. This will be its 3rd year running and like previous years, Pink Dot aims to nurture an all-inclusive, non-discriminatory society which appreciates diversity and understands the basic human need to love and be loved. Everyone deserves the freedom to love!
Kudos to Google for supporting the event and making the concert possible. The event this year promises to be BIG, with a whole slew of celebrities performing, including the Dim Sum Dollies and the Broadway Beng.
1. Go at 4pm or earlier to chope a nice picnic spot right in front of the stage. Concert starts at 5pm sharp and the whole event is expected to end by 6:45pm.
2. There’ll also be a lot of other activities going on around the park so feel free to bring the whole family along. Going by last year's experience, I think it will all be very subtle and tasteful.
What would you wear to your baby shower?
Kampong Bugis is one of those places that’s actually very near my home but it’s so obscure that I will never think of venturing there, much lest have a party on a Saturday night. But it was AL’s big 30th bash and the princess has requested to celebrate there.
13 Wives is part of an old building which also houses Kilo (new restaurant on my to-try list) and Loysel’s Toy, a coffee joint opened by the same guys behind Papa Palheta. The bar is only open on weekend evenings, apparently. It’s an al fresco area with wooden tables and benches, a bit old skool. Sorry, no pics to show.
There's 13 signature cocktails here, inspired by each of the 13 "wives". On this occasion I did not try any of the cocktails because we BYO-ed our own sangria, but the few people who had them said they were quite good.
My verdict? I think it's a bit of a stretch, calling it a waterfront bar. Seriously, it seemed more like a "lokang" (drain) view. But I suppose the bar is worth checking out if you are into the eclectic. Reminds me of my primary school canteen outdoor area haha. To be fair, it can be a nice quiet chill out place. But not one I'd personally hang out often at. Maybe I'll try a cocktail the next time after dinner-at-Kilo.
1 - date gone on with Mick. Oh yea, we left Flynn in the very capable ( and loving ) hands of my parents so we could go to the movies together.
3 - movies watched this weekend. " Pirates 4 " at the movies with Mick, " Shrek Forever After " at home with the boys and " Black Swan " at home by myself. Can i just say - Nina from "Black Swan "? Total nutcase...
140 - dollars spent on two suits and two ties for Mick and his best man for our wedding. They were business suits marked down from $200 at Lowes - oh yea, we are awesome savvy shoppers!
10 - blissful hours of sleep on Saturday night, when i had the night to myself. Mick had gone away to his brothers for the night, and i asked my parents if Flynn could have a sleep over so i could have sometime to myself... and they said " of course! " so i gotta to sit home Saturday night, watch " Sister Act2 ", Twitter, blog, read some of my book ( " Deliverance From Evil " by Frances Hill ) and eat icecream....all whilst being uninterrupted!
7 - hours spent in the Emergency ward early Monday morning with Flynn ( and his teddy bear, Bruce ). He'd come down with croup (again - this is the 3rd time in about 9 months ) so i had him in bed with me so i could monitor his breathing. He'd had the cough before, but never the horrible, wheezing stridor. At 1:30am he sat up, crying, trying to get in air but all you could was the squeak as the air struggled to get down into his lungs, and he was twitching his limbs and hot all over. I hastily put on my slippers, warm dressing gown ( and, strangely, my bra... ) and took him straight to the hospital. They put him on some nebulised adrenalin to open the airways, and then gave him a shot of steroids to help keep them open. 4 more hours of monitoring ( and trying to sleep on a narrow ER bed... not.comfy. Jan ) and we were allowed to go home... and, thankfully, he was much better last night. ( Oh, and in case you were concerned, Bruce the teddy has hit ears and his heart checked and he is ok aswell ).
25 - dollars my Mum spent on a pair of boots for me, just 'cause she wanted to by me a present. You have to love the specials at Rivers - boots that were originally $80 for $25? yes please! And oh - thank you Mum!
50 - approximate number of times Flynn has said " Luff you Mummy! " this weekend. Some when i dropped him at Poppy's for his sleepover; some at the hospital when he was all upset, cuddled up on my lap; and a whole bunch yesterday afternoon when he had his strength back a bit, running around the loungeroom like a man man. Gotta love those 3 little words....
A monumentally huge challenge in fact. But, even though i doubted myself a bazillion times, i was determined that this was one challenge i was going to make it through. And, in the end, not only was i suprised that i stuck it out but i was also suprised at how easy it seemed to be. Moving to the US to live with and work for a family i had never meant was daunting, but i was amazed at how quickly i felt accepted as one of them. I thought i'd be lucky to make one friend while i was there, but by the end of my year i was the " go to girl " for new au pairs coming in to the community, the one who was asked to take them out for dinner and show them around. I thought i might struggle with suburban/city living ( having come from a rural background ) but i took to NJ and New York City like a duck to water. All those things were once on my " No way Jose! " list but, in the end, the ease with which i accomplished them suprised not only me, but others too.
So what will i do to suprise myself this week? I think it may revolve around some training i have to do for work on Wednesday... i could either:
a) suprise myself by NOT getting cranky at management i'll have to deal with or
b) suprise myself by telling them to take theur job and shove it.
Option a) is definately going to be the better option for me right now, so lets just hope i dont get annoyed enough to run my mouth!
Please not the hint of sarcasm here, but truth be told i really dont know what to say here. I understand what the question is asking - in what areas of my life am i just following along and copying the crowd, holding my true self back by feeling like i have be the same as everyone else.... i just dont think there are any. There is nothing where i'm really trying to " keep up with the Joneses ". There are, of course, things that others have that i would like; attributes that others have that i inspire to cultivate in myself. But nothing where i am deliberately cloning the behaviour of others in order to do... what ? Fit in? No - i learned a while back that no matter how hard i tried, monkeying the behaviour of others in order to become i wanted to be wasnt going to work. Not for me anyway - "fake it til you make it " might work for other people, but it was never going help me out.
So, in conclusion.... i have no asnwer. I dont know what my " divine idea " is yet ( and to be quite frank, that whole phrase just sounds so ..so... pompous to me ), but what i do know is that being a sheep and following along, in imitation of others, is not going to help me find it...
I'd say - mistakes are only human; whats important is that we learn from them. Negative emotions will come, im many forms ( revenge, jealousy, bitterness, lonliness, hatred ) but as hard as it is we need to let ourselves feel them... as humans we need to experience the full range of the emotional spectrum. In the end, what you make of yourself is entirely up to you - hold steady to the good things, let go of the bad, and remember always that you are an important part of the universe. Without you, it literally wouldnt be the same....
You know what - i think i've written about quite a bit of " scary " stuff on here. Depression, suicide, loneliness, heartbreak, lying, manipulation and selfishness. Thats some pretty scary shit right there, some stuff that i know other bloggers wouldnt even contemplate writing about. But back when i started this blog, thats primarily what it was for - it was a way of externalising all those things that were weighing me down. It really didnt matter to me whether anyone else read it or not ( although helpful comments were always appreciated ). So when i first saw the question posed in this prompt, i really didnt know what i could answer with. " I've done all the scary stuff - end question " ? And then it hit me...
Falling pregnant and having another beautiful baby before she does....
Incontro is this rustic Italian bistro and bar located at Robertson Quay and it is officially my favourite wine bar for now. The food is not particularly impressive but it’s good enough. Give me my wine and some Tête de Moine with crackers and I’m a happy girl. In true Italian hospitality, the service is friendly and attentive.
Unlike many other wine bars which carry mostly mainstream labels, what I like about Incontro is its carefully selected wine portfolio which the owners personally enjoy and recommend. When I complimented Amy on the fantastic setup she had going, she replied that they wanted to create a haven for people to enjoy wines at affordable prices.
We had the “La Braja” 2007 from Piemonte last night and it was a cracker, that one! I think you will find me at Incontro A LOT.
What was your high school style?
What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?
You wont be stuck at home with Mum and Dad forever either. You'll move out, then back in to save some cash, and the you'll buy a place of your own. This place will become your first family home - yes, despite how you feel right now, the way you get anxious and despair about ever having anyone to love you, you DO find someone. Or they find you, you're still not sure exactly how it worked.... but you find each other and fate deals the cards and you make yourself a fine little family. Your son is becoming quite the little person - he makes you proud, and you love him dearly. Just like your family love you.... dont ever forget that. You'll have your black moments where it all seems futile, but hold steady - it's all going to come good in time.
Enjoy SE Asia when you get there,
The 2011 You.
Give 2016 Mick a big, dirty, pash from me,
The 2011 You.
( By Matt Cheuvront ) Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? Write it down. Also write down the obstacles in your way of reaching your goal. Finally, write down a tangible plan to overcome each obstacle.
The only thing left is to, you know, actually go make it happen. What are you waiting for?
Their was only one thing that immediately came to my mind when i got to pondering these question - I want to be a childrens author.
I've always wanted to - even in kindergarten, when my teachers read my little stories that were a paragraph long instead of just one sentence like the other kids, i would say " When i grow up, i'm always going to write stories ". When asked the same question in Year 6, my final year of primary school, i answered " an author or a paediatrician " ( That last one fell off the radar when i realised too much blood and yucky stuff doesnt make me feel well ). I even expressed the same wish here last year, posting a story i had written for my son and asking you other mummies to critique it. It reviewed well... so whats holding me back?
Fear, certainly - fear of rejection ( What if i think i'm good but no-one else does? ); fear of failure ( What if i concentrate all this effort and nothing comes of it ? ); and, strangely, fear of success ( What if i got one book published and then i couldnt produce a second ? ). But also lack of " know how " - aside from sending off a manuscript to a publishing house, i would have no idea how you go about getting a childrens book publised. I have no contacts in the industry and certainly no-one in my social circle who would have any either. My blog is not well known enough to garner any attention that could help promote any writing i do, and there is no way in the known universe that i have the finances to self-publish ( i dont think i'd want to know anyway - its apparently quite the difficult and thankless route to take ).
So where to from here? I keep churning ideas through my head, keeping noting them down and trying to make something of them; i research publishing house and agents and other novice authors; I volunteer my writing services on websites like Digital Parents and try and get my name out there. I post stories now and then on my blog to see how the childrens-book-reading public respond, and i hope that they enjoy reading them as much i enjoy writing them, that their children might get so excited by the story that they demand repeat readings. I'd love to illicit that kind of response from small children, that huge smile that lights up their faces and the little giggles they get when the words sound funny to them.
I love that stuff - that, that right there, thats what i want to accomplish....
( By Jonathon Mead) Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.
Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?
One week, in the scope of things, is not a very long time ( though much longer than the 15 minutes were given in the first prompt of the #Trust30 challenge ). It might be long enough to organise that sky-dive you've always wanted to do, or take that short trip up the coast that you've been promising yourself, or to dance on the table tops nude at your favourite pub. But, in the scope of things, one week really is not that long a length of time. So, if i did only have that short time left, what would i want to NOT have to worry about? What would i want out of the way so i could enjoy the time i had left?
I'd quit my job - that ones a given. Not only would i not want to spend my last 7 days on Earth working, but i wouldnt want to be working for the company that i am now.
I'd hastily arrange a marriage certificate and licence and tie the knot, even if our parents and Flynn were the only ones in attendance. And...
I'd take my brother aside and tell him to grow up. None of us are sulky teenagers anymore and that means more empathy and less selfishness and immaturity.
Those are the three things that i'd want to get off my plate - off my " To Do " list, so to speak. So why dont i do them now? Why are they still loitering on that list of things that need doing, just not in the forseeable future? Well - the wedding IS in the forseeable future. With only 5 months til our big day i think we can pretty much take it as a given that this WILL happen. Quitting my job? Well, being the responsbile adult and mother that i like to think that I am... i cant quit without another job to go to. I cant just leave my family hanging for the sake of my own happiness. It might be sad to say, but sometimes we need to put our own satisfaction and happiness aside, just for a little while, to benefit the greater good. I wont do it forever though - in fact, i am currently looking a other employment options and should they not work out i fully intend on not going back to my current job after my next period of maternity leave. ( Having another child is also at the top of my " To Do " list....unfortunately that one doesnt have instaneous results, and wont be hurried ).
And the brother thing? Lets just say someone needs reminding about the importance of family, and the way its supposed to work. He also needs reminding that just has he aged so have others, and though he still wants to see them as they were, theyve grown and matured and so should he. The reason i dont say this to him in the here and now is because, right now, it isnt exactly my place. And, even if it were, there would be repercussions that maybe i dont want to deal with. ( Selfish? Yes - perhaps this is a slight case of the pot calling the kettle black.) So i dont say it, though if it isnt said soon - by me or whomever else - it might end up being too late.
So thats that - those are things i'd need to do to allow myself to breath and feel alive for my last week on Earth. After those were out of the way... sky-diving? Freaking hell yea! Trip up the coast? Definately - Mick and Flynn included. Nudie table dancing at the pub? Even with only a week to live, methinks not....