New Adventures: July 2010

Friday Flip Offs Time

Good Friday to you all, and welcome to Friday Flip Offs - the time of the week to get all my stresses out into the virtual world so i can enjoy my weekend. Proudly brough to you by Gigi at KludgyMom.

To the rain - i know that we need you, that farmers you need you for their crops, that you need to fill up our dams so we have drink water blah, blah, blah... but i want a bit of sunshine. I want to take Flynn out for a walk and to let him play on a blanket on the grass. Its been raining and cold and dreary for 3 days now, and its forecast for at least another 2 days more. My Australian summer-time-girl heart just cant bear it much more. Take your grey clouds and FLIP OFF!

To the kids on " World Strictest Parents " - grow.the fork.up. Seriously. I watch this show ( you know, now that " Masterchef " is over ) mainly so i can marvel at how bad your behaviour is and so that i can yell at you via the tv. Maybe if your parents and had yelled at you a bit more, or disciplined you properly at some point, you wouldnt be such idiots. I kind of feel bad for your parents because they put up with you, but i kind of dont because clearly you are a monster of their own making. ( And yes, before anyone points it out, thats kind of judgemental. Probably also very much true in 95% of cases ). Get over yourselves and learn some respect or FLIP OFF!

To the rocky road slice i made on Tuesday - you aren't exactly a fail. I followed the recipe, you turned out fine, Mick loves you. However - I am not a fan of your biscuit base. I was so looking forward to a yummy, scrummy, marshmallowy, chocolatey, chewy slice to snack on over a few days and what i got was a marshmallowy, chocolately slice with a crunchy base. Crunchy - its just not my thing ( at least not with a rocky road topping ). Your whole crunchy biscuit thing killed it for me. I would much rather you with a brownie base. So, unless you can magically turn chewy in my fridge overnight, either disappear into Micks lunchbox or just FLIP OFF!

Thats it this week. All pretty trivial, which i suppose means i had a good week.... enjoy!

PKNA issue 4 - Earthquake p. 46-53

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A Vote For Me Is...

...a vote for, well, me! Which is what this quick little note is all about. If you could, pretty please, head on over to Blog This! and vote for me in this weeks poll, that would be muchly appreciated. See you tomorrow for Friday Flip Offs!

I'm Building An Ark - But I'm Not Growing A Beard

I was listening to one of our local radio stations this morning and, in anticipation of the heavy rain that has been forecast for the next few days ( which, mind you, i bet doesnt eventuate.... ), the morning dj team were discussing whether they had better build themselves an ark. All that had to make it with was some newspapers, some Blutack and a pen but hey.... it got me thinking. If that Biblical flood was a-coming, what would i put on my ark?
( Please note that, like all good hypothetical things, such as deserted islands, my ark will be fully electric. Its a pimped out ark, okay? )

My family - this one's a given. Mick, Flynn and the rest of my immediate family. Extended family i could give or take but we gotta take Poppy and Grandma and the rest of them. Also , we're going to assume that my friends have their own arks so they dont need to hitch a ride with me.
My computer - and internet connection. We have to stay connected to the rest of the world ( well, all those people who were savvy enough to prepare for the watery Apocalypse ... ) and how else are we going to know when its safe to come out and dock?
Books - lots of them. Something for everyone to read - everyone except my dad and my brother, who are not such big fans of books. Maybe i should take some magazines aswell, just so they have something to entertain themselves with. Booby magazines are banned though!
Food - uh. Duh.I'd be getting my bake on before we set off into the great unknown - heaps of freezable pastas and casseroles and yummy, yummy cakes and slices. We wouldnt want to run out of food and have it turn into a whole plane-crash-in-the-Andes cannibal type situation, would we ? Because if it came down to that i think i'd be one of the first to go - my bootiliciousness would be delicious!
Blankets and pillows - and possibly beanbags and mattresses. We wana be comfy in our ark because Gawd knows how long we're gonna be in there.
And finally....
Deoderant - lots and lots of it. And maybe dry shampoo. I suppose we could rig up some kind of shower in this electrical ark of mine, and there would be plenty of water to go round, but failing that we gonna need some kind of BO buster.... it'd be stinky up in that ~~house~~ ark!

You Want It?

My button, i mean. I finally sat down and Googled and figured out how to make one. So for anyone who wants it, its down the page there a little. Oh, and if anyone wants to figure out how to add the HTML ( or whatever ) right below the button that would be nice. Til then i can email the code to whoever wants it. Does that make sense ? Good. Go get my button!
*NOTE* Thanks to Lori and her link in the comments section, we now have HTML!

Good Cop, Bad Cop

I think I may be the bad cop in our parenting relationship.

Not this kind of bad cop though - Mick wishes!

See, in the last day, Mick has twice "rescued" Flynn from a place he didnt want to be - in his cot, going to sleep ( a la Project SleepyTime ) and on the floor having his tummy time. Though the self settling is getting better, sometimes Mr Flynn is still trying his darndest to resist going to sleep. I, being Mummy, am happy to let him cry for 10 minutes and then go in and settle him, knowing that the whole thing is beginning to work and he will eventually fall asleep. Last night Mick says " you want me to go in this time? " and. happy that Daddy was wanting to help out with the Project, i obliged. Next thing i know Mick is back - with Flynn in tow. " He didnt want to go to sleep " he says. Well yes, i know that, but he would have if you'd given him just a few more minutes. Flynn, meanwhile, still has his dummy in but his smiling his little head off. In his mind its Flynn-1, Mummy-0.

And then there was tummy time. Flynn is not really a fan. He never has been, but i think now that he's older he's starting to get frusturated that he can lift his knees and belly off the ground but he still cant move forward. I have tried telling the poor little bloke that he wont learn to crawl unless he has his tummy time, even if he doesnt like it. I have even discussed this with Daddy. So i put Flynn on his tummy and within five minutes he's having a whingey cry. I tell him he's ok, you'll be alright and go to the kitchen to get a drink....and come back to find Flynn off his tummy and on Daddys lap. " But he was crying, he didnt want to be on his tummy " says Mick. Grrr.... Flynn-2, Mummy-0.

Then, this morning? For the first time ever Flynn has a cuddle with Daddy and then, when Mick hands him back to me....Flynn turns his little head, reaches his arms out to Daddy and starts his whingey noise. I want my Daddy! Although i'm glad that he's finally past his clinginess, and loved the look of joy on Mick's face when he realised he was the " wanted " one this morning, methinks this also means that Flynn knows Daddy is a softie - and that Mummy is the hard arse.

Zumba? No - Zumbo!

Time again for another Blog This! challenge. This weeks challenge is:
If you can think of a situation where you'd love to be a fly on the wall?

- your funeral?
- your boss' office?
- your favourite designer's drawing board?
- set of your favourite movie?
- your heart-throb's bedroom?
- perhaps it's the prime-ministers office????
What would you like to see/hear/happen?

After much thought ( and not wanting to use one of the examples ) i've decided that i would want to be a fly on the wall in Adriano Zumbo's kitchen.

There are only two possible reasons that you wouldnt know who Adriano Zumbo is: a) you are one of those weird people who dont watch " Masterchef " or b) you are one of those weird people who aren't Australian ( joking, joking... ) and therefore can't watch " Masterchef ". In any case, Adriano there is a master patissiere and has been featured on the show a handful of times, presenting his dishes as a challenge to the contestants. He's done the croquembouche and 7 layer chocolate cake from last season, and this season he caught Peter out with his macaron tower and tripped Alvin up with the V8 cake. All of which, of course, i wish i could both make and eat.

A selection of Adriano's yummiest...

So - i wish i could be a fly on the wall of Adriano's kitchen so i could be witness to his creative genius. I would love to know how he comes up with all this incredible ideas and then see how he perfects them. How many times does he attempt a 7 layer chocolate cake before he finds the perfect combination? How does he decide that its 7 layers and not 6 ? What gave him the idea to try beetroot flavoured macarons, and then combine them with a raspberry flavour - and put them on a bloody styrofoam tower? I'd love to be there ( hidden away of course - i suppose flies arent really encouraged in a commercial kitchen... ) as he had a new idea, tested his flavours, come up with a recipe and officially created something new. And, seeing that i'm a fly and they taste with their feet, i could fly down and sample everything! Although it'd have to be a small taste of each - i'm thinking with a fly-sized body i could give myself a huge sugar hangover with all that yummy, sweet, Adriano Zumbo goodness......

PKNA issue 4 - Earthquake p. 36-45

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Friday Flip Offs

Happy Friday everyone! And what better way to celebrate the end of the working week ( well, for some of you ) than with another Friday Flip Offs, brough to you by Gigi at KludgyMom...

To the old bird who cut me off at the roundabout - when there are two lanes marked, that means you need to stick to the lane your in. It doesnt mean you can take off from the outside lane and just veer into the inside lane, where i happen to be driving. Even if it did mean that you would still need to use your indicator. Which you didnt. Learn the road rules and try sticking to them or FLIP OFF!

To the fat that refuses to shift off my belly - yesterday i had a positive attitude toward you, today i dont. This may have something to do with the fact that you made my favourite pair of jeans too uncomfortable to wear today. I'm trying to get out there and walk and get rid of you but its not happening quick enough for my liking. Why dont you take the hint and just melt away? Come Monday, when i've convinced Mick to move our exercise bike from the freezing cold garage to the nice, warm, loungeroom you know what i'm going to say to you belly fat? FLIP OFF!

To those foreign sales guys trying to sell miracle cream at the mall - when i'm pushing a pram that contains a small grumpy child, does it look like i have time to stop and trying your fancy hand cream? Does it look like polishing my nails to a nice silky shine is my number one priority ? Just because you're cute and have a nice foreign accent does not mean i want to stop and chat to you, or that i'm going to be convinced into buying one of your incredibly expensive products. Do me a favour - next time i'm at the mall, and you see me coming, and you see me avert my eyes so that you cant catch my attention and stop me, dont step out in front of my pram. If you do i will either be forced to mow you down and crush you beneath my baby wheels or you'll be told to FLIP OFF!

PKNA issue 4 - Earthquake p. 27-35

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An Update On An Update - And, Umm, Another Update

In the past month, I've challenged myself to start, and complete, two seperate tasks - the first is known as Project SleepyTime and the second as Operation SlimDown.

As you all know, Project SleepyTime has had varying degrees of success. Okay, mostly failure - until now. This week, after having a week of good sleep until Sunday night when Mr Flynn ended up back in our bed, i decided to try something else. Something new. I thought maybe if bubba's main problem is that he wants someone in the room with him ( and usually he wants it to be me... ) perhaps some noise would be enough to convince him that although he was alone he would, in fact, be okay. So Monday i put a radio in his room. This, however, didnt quite work. The only station i could pick up on my crappy old clock radio was an AM station that was only talkback during the day. A symphony of voices wasnt exactly soothing. So, come Tuesday i bought Flynn a cheap CD player and a CD of Bach for babies. It gets around his lunchtime nap time, he's exhibiting all his usual tired signs, i wrap, cuddle quickly, pop him in his cot, give him his binky, tuck him in tight, give hima quick kiss and make my exit. And then.... nothing. Ten minutes pass without a peep so i poke my head in and there is my usually cranky, restless, always-fighting-sleep child, fast asleep. Angelic-like. The same thing happened for his afternoon nap. No crying, no kicking, no arching of the back. Just into his cot, music on and zzzzzzzzz.

Wednesday, being the second day, wasnt as good. He fell asleep on the boob having a feed so there was his lunchtime nap and the afternoon nap took two attempts and a little crying and some head-stroking from Mummy before he got to sleep. Today though? Not too bad - he had his morning nap at my brothers house ( Flynny got to have a playdate with his cousins while i went to the Target toy sale ) and lunchtime nap at home, with the music, was instantaneous sleep. A bit of a fight again in the afternoon but again we got to sleep without having to be rocked. I'm waiting to see how tomorrow goes down but methinks we are starting to have ourselves a little bit of success with the self-settling.

And Operation SlimDown? Its slow going, but its going. Its been around 5 weeks since i blogged about not being a fatter version of my old self and i've lost a grand total of 1.3kg. Not so crash hot ( definately not up to either Biggest Loser or Jenny Craig standards ) but at least its been a loss and not a gain. I reckon if i put in just a tiny bit more effort - and stop indulging in sweet, sweet doughnuts - i may be able to crack a 5 kgs loss in about 2 months. Fingers crossed!

Lord of the (Baby) Riverdance!

A little video for anyone who needs a smile today. Flynn has just acquired himself a hand-me-down Jolly Jumper and he.is.loving.it! Watch him go ( and no, you're speakers are not broken, there is no sound. That happens when you film on a digital photo camera, not a digital video camera ). Enjoy!

Oh My Good Lady Gaga!

Holy. Guacamole. Seems i created a bit of a shitstorm and i didnt even realise. ( As an aside, this post will contain swearing so if you're adverse to that kind of thing, avert your eyes now ).

See, almost 12 months ago i wrote a post entitled " 7 Reasons Why I Hate Lady Gaga ". August 11th of 2009 i wrote this post and, today, i had reason to check back on it ( prompoted by a question posed by Kylie at A Study In Contradictions ) and...... there are 146 comments on that post. 146 FREAKING COMMENTS. I know some people found the post by Googling " i hate lady gaga " but i'm thinking someone must have linked to my post somewhere because the most recent comment was only made on July 15th of this year so - what the hell? So I decided i was going to sit and read these comments and boy oh boy did my little post cause a ruckus.

I imagine this is the look the Lady would shoot me from atop her throne after my last Gaga post...

The majority of the 146 comments are from rabid Gaga fans, baying for my blood. ( ok, not quite, but after reading some of those comments i'm suprised i didnt score any death threats ). I got called, in no particular order: a fat whore, a jealous bitch,a stupid retard, a cunt and, amusingly, a tranny ass. None of which has actually hurt me because i understand that these people are only trying to defend a woman that they fanatically love. However, i would like to give a very special shoutout to Anonymous, who was brave enough to post this in reply to my original post:

Get toxic shock syndrome and die you stupid cunt. You're ridiculous, you feign intelligence, and apparently you have something against teacups -- hopefully your uncle molested you during one of your tea parties as a kid. You're a moron.

Thank you Anonymous, well said. If i only i were intelligent as you quite obviously are, perhaps i would understand the utter brilliance of Ms Gaga. and would never have had the gall to express my quite offensive opinion in the first place. I would also like to thank those commenters who agreed with me, and understood that freedom of speech allows me to say i dislike someone ( especially when one of the primary reasons is because she carried around a teacup. Which she's stopped doing. Thank Gawd. )

So, i'm hoping that this post draws out another 140-odd comments. If you are a Lady Gaga fan please note that everything in this post and the original was intended as tongue-in-cheek. I dont " hate " Lady Gaga - sure, she annoys me for the aforementioned reasons, but truth be told " Telephone " is quite the catchy song. Oh, and before any of you tell me to get a life, or stop hiding behind my computer screen, i implore you to stop and think that you are taking the time to bite back at me ( thus taking up moments of your life, same as i have ) and you will be doing it from behind your own computer screen. That being said, try and remember not to take everything so seriously - some of us don't, and my regular readers certainly understood the " humour " behind my original post ( for further evidence of said humour, please scroll down the page and check out my campaign against jeggings... ).

Viva la Gaga!

When I Grow Up

So, welcome again to another Blog This! challenge. This week is a little special - challenge 52 is a retrospective of all the previous challenges. That is, you were allowed to go back through all the past challenges and choose which one you would like to participate in - maybe one you missed, or one you werent a member for, or one you already tried but wanted to do over. After a little thought i've gone with.... th every first challenge ever issued, which reads:
A ballerina? A vet? An astronaut? As a small child, what did you dream of becoming? Tell your story, on your own blog, in words, pictures or a combination. The choice is yours.

I remember being asked this very same question when i was in Year 6, and our answer was recorded in our annual school magazine. If i recall, my answer was - i want to be a paediatrician. Or an author. Two occupations that arent really related at all, and two professions i am not employed as now, as 26 year old. I cant say that i'm entirely disappointed, but the 11 year old me probably still wants to be an author ( just a little bit on the inside ).

I wanted to be a paediatrican because i wanted to be able to help people - children specifically. I was always a socially aware child and i'm sure on some level i though that if i could be a doctor i could probably save the world. However, once i hit Year 8 biology and we had to disect frogs and i refused because the blood and guts and grossness of it all made me want to throw up i realised that the perhaps a career in medecine wasnt for me after all.

The author part probably still rings true for me a little. I've always loved writing ( except in Year 12 when i had a horrible English teacher who nearly killed the passion for it... ) and, even now, writing in my blog is an important part of my life. Its my writing space and, even though its not a " creative " writing space, i still have this teeny, tiny, longing to sit down at some point just write a bit of prose. Maybe a kids book. Maybe a short story. One day soon i may just give it a shot. Who knows, you could all be privy to the first writings of the new J.K Rowling....

PKNA issue 4 - Earthquake p. 19-26

Introducing the People's Bureau of Investigation or PBI - Duckburg's answer to the FBI.

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(As a side note, I like to think that Dr Fairfax sounds just like Kelsey Grammer.)

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Friday Flip Offs Time

Hola dear readers and welcome to this weeks addition of Friday Flip Offs, brought to you by the great mind of Gigi over at Kludgy Mom. Not much to deal with this week, but here we go:

To people who show up late - and then slightly over-stay their welcome. I had plans to do other things tonight, things that i was looking forward to, but because you gave late notice of your impending arrival, and then managed to be an hour later than you said you were going to be, and then decided to stay for over an hour when your were only dropping something off - well it means i've had to miss out on something, put my baby to bed late and have only just had my dinner. Next time, try being on time or FLIP OFF!

To small children who dont understand " no " - or " ssh, Amy is trying to get the baby to sleep " or " no, you cant sleepover tonight ". I still love you guys but you grate on my nerves just a teensy bit. My small duplex is not the same as your house out in the sticks, and i'd appreciate it if you used your indoor voices and didnt belt through my loungeroom as if it were the same as your backyard. If you cant do as i, or your parents, or anyone else asks you'll just have to FLIP OFF!

To my shoulder - i must have slept on you funny because you have been bugging me all day. Your all tender and tight and pinchy and it hurts when i throw my head back to chug the last of my Pepsi Max. That, my friend, is a problem. Promptly fix yourself during tonights sleep or FLIP OFF!

To the weather - could you please decide what it is that you are doing ? Or better yet, could you just hurry up and be spring already? We had a glimpse of spring weather the first two days of the week, and Flynny really enjoyed playing outside in his walker, and then you had to go and get all cold and yucky again. Kindly warm yourself up, bring out the sun and take back your morning frosts or FLIP OFF!