How does the thought process of high ranking Evronians (the only Evronains that can think on their own) work? For all we know, they believe that mankind’s evolution went from the Mitochondrial Eve – considered the mother of the homo sapiens sapiens, the evolutionary state of today’s man – directly to the duck. It’s not a terrible theory, considering some of the types of people we could name. Also, from a historical and biological standpoint, the concept of progress and regress are pretty lightly used.
But what if the Evronians had studied human evolutions and are trying to copy it, to replace us? No, that’s way too ‘50’s sci-fi’. In fact, the only thing those parasites plan to do is to suck all the energy out of the Earth and then go back into outer space for more. Maybe. It’s always nicer to think of your opponents as imbeciles, just to keep yourself from worrying so much.
Evronian Geodesics
Non-Euclidean Geometrics
Was Einstein just a German quarterback? Turn the page, because these are real physics, to the absolute level. We’re talking Evronian geodesics. Forgets every notion of physics you’ve ever accidentally picked up: Our invaders’ perception of reality is much different than ours. The emotional waves they feed off have lengths that go way beyond anything ever measured: only the Evronian perceptive system is capable of picking up the emotional charge of living creatures. But the emotional currents of a planet are too vast to be “seen”. For that reason the Evronians have developed a geometrical system capable of finding the nodes in the currents, with a technique that makes it as easy as finding the centre of a triangle. On this chart you can see an approximate representation of Earth’s obtuseness. As you can tell, the sum of all the internal angles is not 180 degrees but zero, also known as a straight line.
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Alien &… alienated
Subject: Zargon
Rank: General
Deployment: Emergency group “Orian-TH”
Voice: Smooth
Home planet: Planet Evron
Body type: Very athletic
Look: Aggressive
Intellect: Worthy of note, but he often lets his rage take control.
Emotion: An excellent warrior – in battle he is always in control of his instincts. The same can’t be said for when he’s faced with political matters.
Uniform: Pitch black
Equipment: His only “weapons” are his soldiers, whom he uses as pawns.
Aspiration: Destroying that rock known as Earth and moving on to more glorious missions.
Catchphrase: “I can’t stand your power plays! I am a soldier!”
Weakness: His temper tantrums are much feared by his men, but much disliked by his superiors.
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Subject: Dr. Lucille Bruceburton, AKA Lucy
Education: Doctorate in anthropology from Duckburg City University.
Specialization: Pre-Columbian civilizations
Job: Dean of Ducjij University
Country of origin: Ireland
Characteristics: Sweet and a dreamer
Look: Very appropriate for her characteristics
Professionalism: A flawless teacher that cultivates her theories with a moving passion
Strength: She has an enormous paper archive that is unmatched even by the digital world. However, her exceptional memory helps out where technology fails.
Intellect: She’s a university teacher…
Catchphrase: “Say hi to the dear professor for me!”
Aspiration: To meet in person her friendly colleague from Duckburg, professor Lairduck
Weakness: She’s a bit of an airhead, but you can’t really blame her…
Translated by Trauma
