New Adventures

Why No Effort?

One of Mick's friends have just had the honour of becoming first time parents. C rang last night to let us know that they had welcome a baby boy a few days ago and, amongst the usual enquiries of weight, length, and how the labouring went, he mentioned that the new baby is being bottle fed. When Mick asked why, C explained that because Bub had trouble attaching in the first 24 hours the nurses had told mum " ah, just put him on a bottle ".

What?!? Hearing this made me both sad and angry. Why didnt the nurses at this hospital make more effort to help a first time mum have a loving and nurturing connection with her son? Very rarely does any baby master attachment in the first 24 hours, so to say its just going to be easier to bottle feed is a huge cop out. I'm angry that the nurses and midwives, who are there to help mums and their new bubs, didnt think it important enough to sit down and help her out with attachment issues, to explain to her that it can take days, weeks even, for bubs to get the hang of breatfeeding. Angry that they didnt offer a comp feed while they perservered with the boob, and angry that they didnt offer an breastfeeding aids ( such as a nipple shield, which Flynn and I have been using successfully for 6 months now ). I'm sad that because of this lack of effort that this new mum and her baby boy may miss out on the joys of breastfeeding, and the wonderful and, undeniable, nutrional benefits.

Thats Flynn having his boobies right there. Oh, and me and Mick.

Of course, i understand that nurses in maternity wards are busy. Over-worked, yes, and certainly under-appreciated much of the time. But surely, on a maternity ward, help with and advice on first-time breastfeeding must be one of their most important duties. I also acknowledge that bottle-feeding is not the Devil and is not the absolute worst thing in the world - i just think that for a mum who wanted to breastfeed to be told " just put him on a bottle, its easier " is a huge cop out and, frankly, a damn shame.

Kudos to all those hospital in my state - including the one where i gave birth - that are breastfeeding friendly. ( They do have an actual term for it, i just cant remember it ). These hospital advocate breastfeeding over bottle feeding - if you want to bottle feed thats fine and they're not going to nag you into changing your mind - but for everyone else they will do their damnest to make sure mum and bub can successfully breastfeed. Because of the wonderful midwives at my local hospital, Flynn has happily been having boobies for over 6 months, and hopefully for another 6 months more. I'm just sad that C's wife, unless she seeks out a local lactation consultant that will help, is going to miss out, all because people who are charged with her care and paid to give her help, couldnt ( or wouldnt ) make an effort.....

An Update ( For Those Who Have Actually Noted My Absence )

Nope - i havent fallen off the face of the earth. And no, unlike my last lengthy absence, i havent given birth again ( i'm not a miracle worker ). Nope, i've just had a fussy son who refuses to sleep the way i'd like him too and just not enough extra time up my sleeve.

See - remember Project SleepyTime ? Its not going so well. Its been put on the backburner, for now. I thought we were making some headway after a week or so of going through the motions, but as we got better at our day sleeps, the nights were starting to get worse. Not that they were good - waking two or three times a night, sometimes taking an hour and half to go back to sleep - but they were getting markedly worse. And then, there was last Monday night - Flynn woke at 9:45pm and did not fall back to sleep until 4:10am. 6 hrs - and he whinged and cried and screamed the entire time. I became hysterical, crying and crying and pleading with him to be quiet. I almost took myself out of the house to just sit somewhere away from him, except that it was -4 degrees outside and i didnt want to risk frostbite. I took his temperature three times and it was normal. I gave him Nurofen because i thought it might have been his teeth ( it wasnt and the medecine did nothing ). Mick and i rocked and walked and patted and stroked.... nothing.I got so desperate i rang a medical helpline who, despite the lack of symptoms, suggested i take him to the local ER because he'd been crying consistently for more than 2 hours. As soon as i put him in the car and started driving, he laughed and giggled ( i drove for five minutes and then went home ). Finally, after 6 hours of crying and over an hour of me lying beside him and stroking his head, Flynn finally fell asleep. And so did i, on the mattress beside him, utterly exhausted - only for him to wake at his normal time of 7am, which meant i was existing on 3 hours sleep.

The next night he woke at 11pm and it took me and hour and half of cuddles and stroking to get him asleep. The night after that, when he woke at 8pm, i nursed him on my lap until Mick and i were ready for bed, and then put him in bed with us. Which is where he has stayed the rest of the week. Its only been a few days and i'm already over co-sleeping. We have a queen sized bed but i'm all cramped and my back has been killing me because i dont have the room to roll over properly ( and i spend the first few hours twisted at the waist with my arm slung across my son. ) Somehow Flynn knows if i;m not touching him, which is half the problem - you think he's asleep, he's snoring and all limp and then, as soon as i place him in his bed and my hand leaves the back of his head BOOM! his eyes open and he starts sooking. He doesnt calm down til his back in my arms or back in my bed. Its driving me mental.

So, to clarify, i have been missing in action for the past week because my normal blogging timeslot has been taken up with nursing, rocking, patting , stroking and trying to get some sleep. As we speak, Flynn is asleep beside me on a mattress on the loungeroom floor ( it looks like squatters have taken over my living room ) with his feet touching my leg. I am toying with the idea of putting him in his cot and just seeing how long he;ll stay asleep. I'm thinking an hour at the most, at which point he'll wake up and i, out of frusturation and exhaustion, will bring him to bed with us.

Any advice people?

PKNA issue 3 - Day of the Cold Sun p. 57-63

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