To the old bird who cut me off at the roundabout - when there are two lanes marked, that means you need to stick to the lane your in. It doesnt mean you can take off from the outside lane and just veer into the inside lane, where i happen to be driving. Even if it did mean that you would still need to use your indicator. Which you didnt. Learn the road rules and try sticking to them or FLIP OFF!
To the fat that refuses to shift off my belly - yesterday i had a positive attitude toward you, today i dont. This may have something to do with the fact that you made my favourite pair of jeans too uncomfortable to wear today. I'm trying to get out there and walk and get rid of you but its not happening quick enough for my liking. Why dont you take the hint and just melt away? Come Monday, when i've convinced Mick to move our exercise bike from the freezing cold garage to the nice, warm, loungeroom you know what i'm going to say to you belly fat? FLIP OFF!
To those foreign sales guys trying to sell miracle cream at the mall - when i'm pushing a pram that contains a small grumpy child, does it look like i have time to stop and trying your fancy hand cream? Does it look like polishing my nails to a nice silky shine is my number one priority ? Just because you're cute and have a nice foreign accent does not mean i want to stop and chat to you, or that i'm going to be convinced into buying one of your incredibly expensive products. Do me a favour - next time i'm at the mall, and you see me coming, and you see me avert my eyes so that you cant catch my attention and stop me, dont step out in front of my pram. If you do i will either be forced to mow you down and crush you beneath my baby wheels or you'll be told to FLIP OFF!
